I recently was fasting and praying for God to show me some direction.
Here is what’s going on with me…
Here is what the desire of my heart is… AS YOU KNOW I wish to be in a relationship. Maybe not married yet…(I do have some fear of commitment… but I am willing to see where it goes!)
I just want to have a partnership with an amazing man of God where we can do ministry together. Where I can be his helper and work with him for our Father. I wanna have the skills that he doesn’t in order to complete him. I wanna be in a partnership with someone that is strong without me BUT stronger with me. So when we unite is like you have two massive turbo engines that will make life really fun and interesting… and STRONG AS HECK WHEN IT COMES TO EXPAND THE KINGDOM OF THE LORD.
That’s really all I want. Seriously.
Hope is something I have a lot of. I tend to expect from my ABBA everyday. My Heavenly Father and I speak everyday and He knows what’s up with my desire. Oh believe me… I ask often.
So with this fast, I went in with a sore heart and disappointment because I am exhausted of the waiting. It’s like waking up everyday thinking is Christmas and I ran to the Christmas tree (or where the Christmas tree should be) and I find NOTHING. So I went in telling God that if I needed to wait more I would BUT I NEEDED TO HEAR FROM HIM. I was in desperate need of His voice to keep going… or to leave the place I am in and join another ministry where I can be found or to… I don’t know! MAN I JUST NEEDED DIRECTION.
I went around seeking wise counsel but everything I heard seemed like they all had the logic thing to do and the easy way out… but when talking to my Father I ALWAYS felt like that was not it!
Until I met with one of my mentors and he shared this story with me. He made me mediate on this passage.
It’s in 2 Kings 13:14-20.
Here read it for yourselves and I will be sharing what The Lord told me.
“When Elisha was in his last illness, King Jehoash of Israel visited him and wept over him. “My father! My father! I see the chariots and charioteers of Israel!” he cried. Elisha told him, “Get a bow and some arrows.” And the king did as he was told. Elisha told him, “Put your hand on the bow,” and Elisha laid his own hands on the king’s hands. Then he commanded, “Open that eastern window,” and he opened it. Then he said, “Shoot!” So he shot an arrow. Elisha proclaimed, “This is the Lord’s arrow, an arrow of victory over Aram, for you will completely conquer the Arameans at Aphek.” Then he said, “Now pick up the other arrows and strike them against the ground.” So the king picked them up and struck the ground three times. But the man of God was angry with him. “You should have struck the ground five or six times!” he exclaimed. “Then you would have beaten Aram until it was entirely destroyed. Now you will be victorious only three times.” Then Elisha died and was buried…”
2 Kings 13:14-20 NLT
Kinda weird huh?
So this dude Jehoash came to Elisha to get help. Just like I went to get help from my God.
Now… I want you to pay attention on how confusing might have been to interact with Elisha. Elisha was about to die so it makes me think that he was probably in bed talking soft. Yeah… that’s how I picture people when they are dying. I don’t know!
So Elisha tells Jehoash to get a bow and some arrows. We don’t know how many correct? And then to open the eastern window… let’s stop there. Eastern? Where is that?! See if I was Jehoash I would be sooooooo confused. I mean… sometimes I don’t know which one is the left of the right… anyone like me?
So eastern? I don’t know!!!!
Anyways… Jehoash opened the window and shoot the arrow just like he was told. And the Elisha told him that the arrow was the Lords arrow and an arrow of victory so in other words that he would defeat his enemies ok… are we all good in the story here?
Then it got tricky… then Elisha said pick up the arrows and strike them to the ground. Ok what? Again, if I was Jehoash this is what I would have said:
“Excuse me Elisha, what am I doing again? Strike them? Like with my hands? But what if they break? What if I get hurt? Like… in a angry way?”
Jehoash without asking any questions did as he was told but he only stroke 3 arrows!!! And guess what? Well you don’t need to guess you already read the story… Elisha got mad!!! And asked: “why didn’t you keep striking arrows?!?!” He was all like: “why only three?!” And because he only stroke 3, he would only win those 3 times.
Man! Hard stuff huh? I mean, how was Jehoash supposed to know how many were enough? How was Jehoash supposed to know what to do with such of poor directions?
Anyone else think this is kinda messed up?
Then Elisha died!! With no way to get like a do-over!
So during the fast I asked for some clarification. I wanted to know why this passage. And oh did I get my answer.
I came to the fast sore, broken, angry and exhausted. I had just spent another holidays alone. No boyfriend… just the same good old family. Same good old experience. I went to a couple parties but no man of God that thought I was good enough. What else is new right?
So here is what the Lord told me and I HOPE AND PRAY THIS SPEAKS TO YOU AS WELL!!!
I came confused just like Jehoash was… I thought I was doing as God was telling me to do but where is eastern again? Am I supposed to love even when I am not loved back? Am I supposed to keep waiting to be found? What if I went instead and signed up to online dating. Heck! I would be part of a catalog right? What if someone swipes right? Or is it left? (Don’t worry! I didn’t get that desperate. I am not in an online dating app.)
Again… I thought I was doing what God was telling me to do. But I was only doing the 3 strike thing.
The Lord revealed to me that the problem with Jehoash was that his heart wasn’t in it! The Lord taught me that he was not fully committed to what Elisha told him to do. Imagine if Jehoash stroke those arrows one by one as hard as he could and then when the arrows broke, he picked the pieces of arrows and kept going striking pieces over and over and over again. Elisha would have been happy right? Talk about commitment! What if he would have gone at it until Elisha said: “Yo Jehoash! That’s enough! You made a point!” That’s a whole different heart than the one that only stroke three arrows.
The Lord spoke to my heart and He said: “You need to have a heart that is fully committed to do what I am asking for you to do! You strike those arrows until I say STOP! Even when my instructions make no sense!
Sis, He loves you HE WILL STOP YOU WHEN YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED. He will rescue you from yourself.
So IF AND ONLY IF you feel like the Lord is telling you to love even when you are not loved back… you LOVE the heck out of that person WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
So IF AND ONLY IF you feel like the Lord is telling you to wait for the guy to make a move… you wait with a happy heart WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
So IF AND ONLY IF you feel like the Lord is telling you to not date anyone for some time… you don’t date anyone until hear otherwise WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
But the trick here is that you make sure it’s your Father! You make sure you are talking to Him!
You don’t stop striking arrows or pieces of arrows until he says “STOP MY DAUGHTER! You made your point!”
He will rescue you from yourself!
I love you!